If ever someone with an impious hand, has broken the aged neck of a parent, make them eat garlic-- it’s worse than hemlock! Oh, the tough guts of harvesters! What sort of poison rages in my stomach? Has the gore of a viper been boiled with these vegetables without my notice? Or has that witch Canidia handled this evil stew?
When Medea gazed upon Jason, shining brighter than all the rest of the Argonaughts, she anointed him with this stuff when he was about to bind the bulls unused to yokes; with gifts steeped in this, she took revenge on his mistress and flew away on her dragon.
Neither the summer heat that settles on thirsty Apulia nor the hot gift that burned the shoulders of capable Hercules is so great.
So, Merry Maecenas, if you ever decide to pull such a prank ever again, may your girl place her hand before your kiss and recline on the furthest couch.